just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
