Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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