I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize