He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Ketchup is God's man juice
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
