You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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