Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
