had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
