So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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