her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
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