he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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