Pappa wants mamma naked
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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