A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
