i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
