no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
