Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
