bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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