OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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