Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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