The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She's the barista slut.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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