wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
