the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
