I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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