so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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