I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Holy shit dude........stairs
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize