i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
