You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
