So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
