Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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