Need sex. Gaining weight.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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