just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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