There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
