How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
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But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
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Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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