mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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