Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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