Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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