i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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