I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
