remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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