I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
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I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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