i just wanna soil my oats bro
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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