Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
