Pants 0. Shit 1.
love makes seman taste better
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize