sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
