i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
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I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
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I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize