Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
