And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
