I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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