i think my mom watched the whole time
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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