He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
