I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
