Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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