Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
