My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
