I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
It's official drugs can't kill me
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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