the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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