I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
