How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
do herpes really smell.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Randomize
