I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
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