you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
