It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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